Jackson Nieuwland

2 Poems

1. I used to be so full of light, swollen with it, torso distended with blue glow.
2. It weighed me down like water, to the point I could barely move.
3. I manoeuvred through the house by rolling my body over and over, light sloshing around inside me.
4. The light grew, stretching my skin until I became the size of three Jacksons, changing the colour of my hair.
5. Burning.
6. And then, just when it was about to become too much to bear, as the light was about to tear me open, it began to fade.
7. At first a sense of relief, then loss.
8. I have always felt nostalgic for the worst times of my life.
9. As the light diminished, I built a complex system of mirrors inside my body so that what glow was left could not escape. It would reflect eternally and I would never go dark.
10. But over time the mirrors’ surfaces became coated with dust and discolouration. They fell from the walls, landing face down, reflecting nothing. They shattered under the pressure of time.
11. Eventually, there weren’t enough mirrors left to keep the light moving through me. It escaped through the smallest cracks and pores until my body went completely dark.
12. My blood could no longer see its way through my veins and arteries.
13. My body slowed and then stopped.
14. I have been standing here frozen since then, time flowing past me like a great river just out of reach.
15. My interior has been dark for too long, it is time to devour light.
16. I open my eyes like mouths, exposing needle-sharp teeth.
17. I tear the light from the surrounding area, leaving it completely shadow-dark.
18. I stare at the sun, pulling light from it until it becomes the moon.
19. I fill myself to the limit, til my body is so densely packed with light that my bones begin to crack.
20. I feel the burn and I like it.

1. Finally—FINALLY—I am coming into bloom.
2. My body is opening up like a music box
                                                   trapdoor
                                                   wormhole
                                                   wound
                                                   anus
3. Now I am exposed to the world.
   a. The dirt, the flowers, the wind, the people, the fire.
4. Now the world is exposed to me.
   a. The beauty, the light, the pain, the fear, the fire.
5. My skin blushes, shifting through baby pink
                                                         neon orange
                                                         highlighter yellow
                                                         lime green
                                                         baby blue
6. My tattoos come to life, dancing across my skin like shadows and reflections, whispering in my ears.
7. Spiders spin through my hair, turning it to a tangle of fluorescent candyfloss.
8. My hair grows longer than limbs, then falls out like friends.
9. Hair replaced by a soft layer of fur.
10. The fur sheds, lifted away by the breeze like dandelion seeds.
11. Fur replaced by a rainbow of wildflowers.
12. My buds are blossoming, petals radiate from my chest
                                                                             armpits
                                                                             groin
                                                                             scalp
                                                                             mouth
13. My pools are flooding, every orifice overflowing its banks with sweetwater, soaking my skin and the lawn I recline on.
14. The water forms rivers, flowing away from me in all directions.
15. My body become an island.
16. My body become beautiful, finally a reflection of me.
17. My chest cracks open like a crusty eye.
18. A black box emerges from the hole, rising up on a pedestal of beating heartflesh, extended like a tongue.
19. The box opens like a gift, revealing a glowing glass flower, shattering the light around it like a crystal prism.
20. The flower grows large and heavy-petaled, then quickly decays, crumbling suddenly to dust, gone in an instant.
21. And yes, this means I am one step closer to death.
22. And guess what? I don’t care. It’s worth it.

Jackson Nieuwland (Wellington, NZ) is melting. Soon they will be a puddle on the floor. The puddle will soak through the floorboards and be absorbed by the earth beneath. The earth is very thirsty; it needs all the fluids it can get.

< Ana Iti

Yeow Kai Chai >