- I used to be so full of light, swollen with it, torso distended with blue glow.
- It weighed me down like water, to the point I could barely move.
- I manoeuvred through the house by rolling my body over and over, light sloshing around inside me.
- The light grew, stretching my skin until I became the size of three Jacksons, changing the colour of my hair.
- And then, just when it was about to become too much to bear, as the light was about to tear me open, it began to fade.
- At first a sense of relief, then loss.
- I have always felt nostalgic for the worst times of my life.
- As the light diminished, I built a complex system of mirrors inside my body so that what glow was left could not escape. It would reflect eternally and I would never go dark.
- But over time the mirrors’ surfaces became coated with dust and discolouration. They fell from the walls, landing face down, reflecting nothing. They shattered under the pressure of time.
- Eventually, there weren’t enough mirrors left to keep the light moving through me. It escaped through the smallest cracks and pores until my body went completely dark.
- My blood could no longer see its way through my veins and arteries.
- My body slowed and then stopped.
- I have been standing here frozen since then, time flowing past me like a great river just out of reach.
- My interior has been dark for too long, it is time to devour light.
- I open my eyes like mouths, exposing needle-sharp teeth.
- I tear the light from the surrounding area, leaving it completely shadow-dark.
- I stare at the sun, pulling light from it until it becomes the moon.
- I fill myself to the limit, til my body is so densely packed with light that my bones begin to crack.
- I feel the burn and I like it.
- Finally—FINALLY—I am coming into bloom.
- My body is opening up like a music box
- Now I am exposed to the world.
a. The dirt, the flowers, the wind, the people, the fire.
- Now the world is exposed to me.
a. The beauty, the light, the pain, the fear, the fire.
- My skin blushes, shifting through baby pink
- My tattoos come to life, dancing across my skin like shadows and reflections, whispering in my ears.
- Spiders spin through my hair, turning it to a tangle of fluorescent candyfloss.
- My hair grows longer than limbs, then falls out like friends.
- Hair replaced by a soft layer of fur.
- The fur sheds, lifted away by the breeze like dandelion seeds.
- Fur replaced by a rainbow of wildflowers.
- My buds are blossoming, petals radiate from my chest
- My pools are flooding, every orifice overflowing its banks with sweetwater, soaking my skin and the lawn I recline on.
- The water forms rivers, flowing away from me in all directions.
- My body become an island.
- My body become beautiful, finally a reflection of me.
- My chest cracks open like a crusty eye.
- A black box emerges from the hole, rising up on a pedestal of beating heartflesh, extended like a tongue.
- The box opens like a gift, revealing a glowing glass flower, shattering the light around it like a crystal prism.
- The flower grows large and heavy-petaled, then quickly decays, crumbling suddenly to dust, gone in an instant.
- And yes, this means I am one step closer to death.
- And guess what? I don’t care. It’s worth it.