Haang Saan
At the cemetery a single
nucleotidic memory is performed
as we touch our hands together in prayer,
shake them through the air,
only to land them in the food,
digging and digging, until
we spot the bystanders watching
us talk to the beyond,
reducing the dissonance, your
uncomfortable state. If only
I could come closer to tickling
the neurons, pulling them a
part, making connections
between the benevolence of a
bright summer’s day and my inability
to perceive reality accurately,
because I’m wondering again
about the market garden in Gisborne,
that little house with the three bedrooms
where all nine of you slept, and
I try to suture your faces
with this exact place, seeing
fourteen little hands obeying
the action potentials as they dig
amongst the earth. You grin, hiding
bright emerald peas in the veins
of your aprons, setting fire to potato greens
on Guy Fawkes, and never once
do the lobes function in isolation. This
is where it all began, and as I blink
back the day, you are all with me
and I see it clearly now, how
the shrinking machine operates
on us all—from the trunk outward
into a fully-grown tree. How powerful
is memory, even when it isn’t your own?
And I let myself fall
down
into life’s concrete bookends, revelling
in all this history.
ANNEXE
July 28, 2020
Brecon Dobbie is a 20 year old student, who lives in Auckland, New Zealand. She is currently completing the final year of her BA in English and Psychology at the University of Auckland.