from DEAR JOURNAL, TODAY I STARTED A TWITTER ACCOUNT CALLED ‘IS UR ART POLITICAL’
I dreamt I was a peacock
No one wanted to fuck me
I filled my cunt with concrete
It crumbled into your mouth
Then I ate a banana
Punch me in the face like the guy who punched the Monet
Stab a cigarette out and dunk it in my coffee
At least then I would know why I am so ‘high risk’
A bad girl that looks slutty
A bad girl that acts like a good girl
Remember when it was cool to like Jesus
I didn’t realise until recently that Creed ‘with
arms wide open’ was talking about finding Jesus
I went to the christian rock show
I took the hot, but dull christian boy’s virginity
His eyes rolled to the back of his head
We used a condom
It was over in two minutes
Good christian boy
Imagine if I got paid for my emotional labour
I secretly put maca powder in your nutribullet to increase your stamina, level your hormones and increase your libido.
I thought if we had wild enough sex maybe you’d text me back.
I got bored anyway
I let a stranger smell my foot for an hour and a half. I found him through Craig’s list. I sat on my phone playing Candy crush at his house drinking a glass of Rosé. He was perfectly harmless, but very insecure and ashamed. He acted as though I was a goddess. It was cute. #justgirlythings He kept getting too physical with my foot and it was distracting me from completing a level I’d been trying to finish all day.
I threatened to kick him if he tried to suck my toe again.
When I said that he squealed and then came. He paid me $250, gave me three bottles of wine and showed me pictures of his three children. He told me his wife didn’t know that he likes feet and that they hadn’t had sex in three years.
I told him I only gets paid to have my foot smelt and that I wasn’t his girlfriend or his shrink. #emotionallabour
Hana Pera Aoake (Ngaati Mahuta, Tainui/Waikato, Ngaati Raukawa) is an artist, writer and editor based in Waikouaiti on stolen Kai Tahu land. They are studying at Maumaus escola des artes, co-edit Kei te pai press and Tupuranga journal and co-host a podcast, KISS ME THRU THE PHONE with Mya Cole (iTaukei). They love eating kaimoana and defacing colonial property.